WHO'S THE BIGGER SIMP?: Steve Urkel vs. The-Dream

A question that's been killing me for the past couple days. Who's the biggest simp, The Dream or Steve Urkel? If you're aren't familiar with the term simp, I'm pretty sure they have it on UrbanDictionary.com. Shit they even got #KeefTalk on there, so you should find it. About to dude a quick ass run through on both contestants so I can sway you towards the right vote.

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Name: Stephen Quincy Urkel
Alias: Steve Urkel
DOB: May 3, 1976
Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois

Alright pretty much everyone is familiar with Steve Urkel. Like who didn't watch TGIF growing up? He pretty much ran the early to mid 90s on the African American sitcom Family Matters. He was known as the nerd/pesky neighbor to the Winslow Family. And best friend of that fag and fellow simp Eddie Winslow........#FuckEddieWinslow. Steve was pretty damn annoying and I still until this day don't know why Carl ain't murk him and rule it as an accident. Shit he was a cop he could have got off with it. But back to the topic. There was one member of the Winslow family that Steve was really fond of and her name was Laura Winslow. Laura is Carl and Harriets 2nd child and only daughter. They had another daughter but they shipped her ass away then next thing I know I was able to view her porn on Bootybone.com SMH. Well anyway this dude simped on Laura for a good 15 years. Like nigga you live in Chicago and you was a building time machines and shit in your moms basement you could have pulled hoes and better looking hoes at that. This nigga Steve Urkel clearly had bread. This fool had no job and was making hover boards and submarines in High School. I'm pretty sure you can't buy submarine parts in Home Depot. This nigga Steve was caking and this dirty tennis ball head hoe Laura still ain't want him. She tried to rock the short Monica cut but her head was looking like a suede wave cap. Bitch head looked like a leather tether ball. Oh wait I lived Steve did end up pulling a bad chick, her name was Myra (God rest her soul). The bad part about the whole deal is the fool never smashed Myra. Myra put Laura to shame. I won't even explain how bad she was, just off her being dead and that creepy as hell. Steve had to so many chances to smash Myra but he never took it because he wanted Laura so much. But I can respect that from Steve. He knew deep down Laura was his true love. So that's cool, but nigga explain why you built a Robot for this ho. Nigga if I build a Robot for a girl she better let me hit afterwards. I mean she better top me while I'm putting the fuel in that shit. Robot and fuel ain't cheap. She ain't even say thank you or keep the robot either. Shit was gone by the next episode. I just now realize Myra was even badder then Eddie Winslows girl..... Gotdamn #FuckEddieWinslow. Ok I can respect Steve because in the end he got his the girl he was chasing for 15+ years and married her (without smashing first). He even had the craziest proposal ever. This fool went to space and popped the question. Man NASA sponsored his simping. Also did anybody find it weird that this fool Carl Winslow let Steve in his house know he was stalking his teenage daughter and fucking his house up? Carl and Harriet must have had great insurance. On to simp #2.

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Name: Terius Youngdell Nash
Alias: The Dream
DOB: June 14, 1981
Birthplace: Rockingham, North Carolina

Hmm unlike Steve, this nigga Dream is actually a real person lmao. That means his simping is real. I can say that I'm a big fan of homies music. He has three amazing albums under his belt. The world was somewhat skeptical on his simping. It wasn't sure if this nigga Dream was actually a simp in real life or was it just music. Well in the last couple months of his "relationship" with Christina Millian we can almost pretty much say this fool was the Big Meech of simping. Him putting Love on the title of all his albums should have been a eye opener also. And this wedding pic of him and Christina Millian, no words................

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Son wtf is up those boots? This nigga got these Rumplestilskin boots on. He asked Nintendo to get him some replica Zelda boots. How you think its okay to get married looking like an extra from Van Helsing? SMH and I know we've all seen the surface yesterday of him stepping out on Christina Millian. The fact that this nigga was hugged up at the beach with a rican broad that looks like Donkey from Shrek is crazy. But more power to homie, no one knows if his relationship with Millian was authentic but him and her. And no one knows what went down but them. We all known Christina was known industry jump off, so he was a simp just off getting with her. I just know if I gotta wear a shirt at the beach, Dream you put on a damn shirt too. I would like to never see your C cup tits again sir. Good luck to Dream though because they do have a kid and what not. I also heard dude is worth like 25 million off song writing alone and there was no prenup signed. I also saw Kelis handing Christina Millian a business card with my own eyes. Then Christina gave Kelis a dap, RIP to him.

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So you just gonna DDT her?

Vote wisely......................


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