OH HAI TIGER HAVE A SEAT PLEASE.....AGAIN!

Fueled by Agthekid / at 10:22:00 PM / /

Damn Tiger....



If you don't remember a while ago when the Tiger Woods first got into his scandal some crazy text messages released from him and his jump off. Well shit doesn't change and some more text were released and this time it got more real. I'll let yall see for yourself.

PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

Tiger: Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you

Joslyn: Sent: 05:56 PM 07/30/2009:
Few mins away. U have the Super Bowl tickets 4 those cancer kids?

STOP RIGHT HERE! WTF? Cancer kids? I how do you continue ask for some ass after bitch you brought up kids with cancer? Ah fuck! (c)Lil B

Tiger: Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger: Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

The kids with cancer will see her though.

Joslyn: Sent: 06:11 PM 07/30/2009:
Make a Wish foundation surprise parties r the best!

You look forward to these events?

Tiger: Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.

Joslyn: Sent: 06:22 PM 07/30/2009:
LOL :( Remember, yr doing it for the troops in afghnistn.

Jump off don't bring the troops into your whoring. He's smashing you because you're a whore. Obama can careless if you give slow neck good or not.

*Later on that day*

Tiger: Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after

Joslyn: Sent: 04:12 PM 07/31/2009:
You surprised how sweaty we got building houses 4 habitat 4 humanity?

A slut and a Humanitarian. Put a ring on it Tiger.

Tiger: Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)

Tiger: Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry:)

Joslyn: Sent: 04:32 PM 07/31/2009:
I know I know New Orleans wont rebuild itself

Can Habitat homes rebuild your walls? Tiger you're on some other shit son lmao.

Tiger: Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out

Joslyn: Sent: 06:06 PM 07/31/2009:
Me too. OK, going 2 feed those Vick pit bulls u rescued. Hope they don't bite my inner thighs this time.

Tiger: Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe

LMAO at son tryna 1 up Mike Vick and ending up in damn near the close situation. Goddamn Based God.

Joslyn: Sent: 04:02 PM 08/28/2009:
What would you say to Carlsbad Caverns if you were there right now?

Tiger: Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

Joslyn: Sent: 04:12 PM 08/28/2009:
LOL. I love spelunking.

I don't know who the hell Carlsbad Caverns is, but that sound like some kind of man. Now in other text message you brought up how there are big muscular men in the NFL. Now this..... Tiger Woods you're a damn homosexual. You on that Atlanta shit son lol.

Tiger: Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad

Tiger: Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now:)

Joslyn: Sent: 03:29 PM 08/29/2009:
OK, one set of Dr. Scholl's inserts coming right up. Heading out shopping.

Tiger: Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out

Son she is obviously ignoring your corny 14 year old sexual advances SMH. And what the fuck does wear out mean for the second time? Are you gonna wear her out like a choppa suit or a Paco jean jacket outfit with that hat too match. Tell that white hoe U Gonna Beat that pussy up and leave the shit at that.

Joslyn: Sent: 03:31 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, you like shopping too? The only trouble with strip malls is the walking. Do you know if there's a private jet service that can take me from store to store?

Tiger: Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore

Sore like flying? Them Stanford classes ain't paying off and you look like Teen in the brain. Don't know how in the hell you pulled Elin or however you spell or say her name.

Joslyn: Sent: 03:34 PM 08/29/2009:
LMAO! Think you mean soar. :)

*DEAD* She corrected him and still ignored his advances.

Joslyn: Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
Want to come shopping with me some time?

Who doesn't want to "Strip mall" shop with a Billionaire.

Tiger: Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out

Try never son your game is weak as shit.

Joslyn: Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
OK, bring comfy shoes!

And again she is brushing off your advances. She is brushing your shit off like a chair shot on Hulk Hogan when he is about to Hulk. You taking more L's then the Nets. Bring Comfy shoes too.

Tiger: Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls

Joslyn: Sent: 03:39 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, yr asking about the book club? Anyone can join.

lksdjfdfkssdfksdfk LMMFAO!!!

Tiger: Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question

Now you get? She been have't answering your shits.

Joslyn: Sent: 03:42 PM 08/29/2009:
Yes Tiger there are other guys and girls in the book club.

Tiger: Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust

Son just asked that polite as hell. "Excuse me... Pardon me... Do you mind if I fuck you and a friend? I would more than happy if you say yes please."

Sanford paid off.

Joslyn: Sent: 03:45 PM 08/29/2009:
I keep telling you, there's nothing embarrassing about Eat Pray Love. We'll talk about it and drink cosmos!

This means she thinks he's gay.

Tiger: Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no

Joslyn: Sent: 03:55 PM 08/29/2009:
Yeah, should be fun. Don't like E. Gilberts 2nd book tho. Overwritten.

Speechless

Joslyn: Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
My screenplay really isn't coming together. Need some dialogue for the enraged donkey-owning farmer.

Tiger: Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Joslyn: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Wow, that's really great.

"Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own" Son this can't be life.

Tiger: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Joslyn: Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Thx. U r so good at this


Tiger: Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp

Son sounds like he reading this shit out of a Zane book or some shit. And I'm assuming DP means double penatration. SMH Son she haven't gave a you a turn on yet. And you gotta be a gay nigga to even try DP.

Joslyn: Sent: 04:55 PM 08/29/2009:
Pleeeeez let me play shortstop on our softball team. Nothing compares 2 turning a double play!

Tiger: Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around

Joslyn: Sent: 05:05 PM 08/29/2009:
Yeah, those torture memos were really messed up. Think its spelled "Yoo" tho.

Speechless yet again. Give John Mayer your nigger pass asap please.

Joslyn: Sent: 05:12 PM 08/29/2009:
Know you get intense about yr cooking but was hoping u and Elin might bring yr coq au vin to the potluck Sat? Just need main course.

*DAPS* on bringing his wife into it. Because he does have one of those. Bring up his daughter too. He has one of them also. Even 2 I think.

Tiger: Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth

Tiger: Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me

Joslyn: Sent: 05:21 PM 08/29/2009:
You know I always love when you guys come over for dinner.

:eek

Joslyn: Sent: 05:22 PM 08/29/2009:
Oh, sorry to change subj. but what did you tell Nick Faldo before the 08 Ryder Cup again?

LMAO You've been doing that for the past couple days now.

Tiger: Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy

Joslyn: Sent: 05:28 PM 08/29/2009:
Right. That was awesome!

Blank stare...


Tiger: Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:

Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger: Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Joslyn: Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
No, I've had baby showers with silver, bronze, platinum decor. Never golden. Planning something for E?

LMAO Son you a nasty mother fucker to even bring up a golden shower. Who slides shit like into a convo?

Tiger: Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything haven't you

Including ignore you. Basically the moral of the story is Tiger Woods is a corny as dude. Homie if there is no right way to cheat. And he showed us there is obviously a wrong way. I think later on he went on to saying some shit like can he eat her but. *The Miz voice* Really? Really? But in all honesty I hope Tiger gets his shit together and bring his family back together. I may joke on these blogs about Tiger cheating and what not. But the topic of cheating hits home for me. I've dealt with it with my mom and dad. And the shit is not easy on your heart at all. It still gets to me till this day. But Tiger seems like a good dude that got caught up in some bullshit. I know dude will get through as this shit and not prove to media that he's a typical negro that can't stay out of trouble...... #PrayForTiger