The Awkward Porn Convo.....

Fueled by Agthekid / at 1:54:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Haven't done one of these in a while. Gonna share hands down one of the most awkward porn convos I've been in hands down. Matter of fact its the last porn convo I've ever had with a nigga. The shit was that serious lol.

Alright so this was back when I worked at Radio Shack. It was me and my manager (I won't say dudes name lol). I store was always dead. So it was a lot of moment where we honestly aint have shit to do for like 5 hours straight but look at tv. I had no issue with it before dude started working there cuz fools would be in that bitch watching ESPN all day getting paid to do not a damn thing at all. But when this nigga started working there all he watched was that Bloomberg report stock exchange bullshit. I wanted to hit this nigga every time I clocked in lol. That's how boring it was. And dude was so damn social awkward it was hilarious. I was surprised he was married until I met his wife. She was more awkward than him lol. Let me cut to the good part.

Well one day we in there one morning and it was raining so that means no customers at all. He was watching CNN and I was playing on the new laptops we had on display. And somehow on CNN porn was brought up. The shit drew my attention cuz well....... I like to look at porn motherfucker! So he looks at me and says so you like porn I see. And I'm like O_o yea. I was thinking maybe we might have found something in common as weird as that might be. Alright so we started talking a little about porn stars. The convo was legit and wasn't really that bad even though we're in a place of work. Then out nowhere dude says "Man I don't be liking that Man on woman stuff. I like tranny on woman." I'm looking at him like "did this nigga just say that?". I then asked him to repeat that shit. And dude said the same thing. Man like wtf! Why would you be wanting to see a tranny smash a woman? Dude is all nonchalant with it too. He says "shrug man. I just like to see a tranny with big boobs like a woman instead of a man. They both got dicks right?". At this point I'm grossed out praying that a customer walked in there but no fucking luck. Dude then ask me "Man so you like to see a man smash a woman". O_O nigga why the fuck would I be looking at the man anyway? The convo went exactly where I aint want it to go. Dude started asking me all kinds of questions like I was the weird one. I eventually told dude to leave me alone lol. After that I couldn't take homie serious. All I could think about was dude saying he like to see transsexuals smash chicks. And after that I stopped conversing about porn. I'm not having a moment like that again. No I won't! Shit made me want to transfer to another store couldn't work with dude lol. But eventually 2 months later I got fired (-______-). End of story smh. Like I say in every blog, don't mind the spelling and grammar errors. I don't spell check shit.....

WWE TLC PPV Tonight

Fueled by Agthekid / at 2:47:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Man this PPV will be ass. I don't expect anything good from it at all cuh. It serves no purpose at all for build up for Royal Rumbles. This shit needs to be eliminated from next years calendar. And with that said.......



John Cena vs. Wade Barrett (Chairs Match)

Let hope this story line is over after this match. I'm tired of seeing it honestly. Last month I believe Cena was fired after at the results of the Orton vs. Barrett title match. Some how dude still was able to get 30 minutes of air time each Raw while being "fired". Very useless storyline. It did nothing but make folks hate Cena even more. And I didn't think it was possible that Cena could bury the Nexus even more then they have but he did. Hopefully this match ends cleanly so we don't worry about any possible interference but that mostly likely won't happen smh. Nexus might get involved in this. The match is already dumb as hell. What the fuck is a damn chairs match? Dumb shit I swear. Well anyway I hate this fool Cena so I'm going against no matter if the odds are in his favor.

Prediction: Wade Barrett



Natalya & Beth Phoenix vs. Team Lay-Cool (Divas Tag Team Tables Match)

Don't give a damn about this match. I just want to see Layla's fine ass. And I'm mad that bitch is dating Cody Rhodes now (-_____-). But fuck this match folk. The WWE is only doing this match to rival with TNA doing that females Cage match a couple weeks ago. The problem with that is only 2 of these hoes can actually wrestle and they're on the same team. *YAWN* So this match will be a disaster. And expect a fluke finish or Layla going through the table since she's the jobber of the groupe and Undertaker is smashing Michelle McCool. They not putting those big hoes through a table lol.

Prediction: Natalya & Beth Phoenix



Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger (Triple Threat Ladder Match)

This match proves that Smackdown needs more talent. The same dudes are fighting for the IC title everyday B. And Dolph Ziggler is an embarrasment to the IC title. Dude is trash as hell in the ring. And I don't care for Kofi at all and I'm black. Maybe they give Jack the title since they've be burying him ever since he dropped the heavyweight title. So this fool needs this shit for real. This match could have been dope in the non PG era. Nevermind I'm lying. This match would be bad no more. Ziggler can't wrestle, Kofi is always making mistakes/can't get shit right and Swagger is pretty good but he's more a techical mats type dude. He has no business climbing latters and shit. My real prediction is one of these fools being injured. Thats fucked up but still lol.

Prediction: Jack Swagger- New Intercontinental Champion



John Morrison vs. Sheamus (Ladder Match)

Only match I'm looking forward to. This match is a #1 contender match for the WWE title also. Also this will end the fued that Morrison and Sheamus are having. Which is now tied 1-1. This match is also possibly where HHH (ALL HHH EVERYTHING) makes his comeback. I'm gonna go ahead and say that Morrison will win this match. 1. Sheamus is fighting against HHH next month at Royal Rumbles. Thats pretty obvious. What PPV could HHH possibly get his payback againt Sheamus before Wrestlemania? They would'nt let them fight back to back Wrestlemanias. And they need both dudes for the Elimination Chamber match. 2. I doubt the WWE will have heel Sheamus fight heel Miz for the title at a major PPV. The want a fued they won't need to do any work on. And thats Morrison vs. Miz for the WWE. That match writes it damn self. So with that said.....

Prediction: John Morriosn- #1 Contender



WWE Champion The Miz vs. Randy Orton (Tables Match)

Yo this match will be horrible. I mean really bad. Orton use to be my favorite but I'm starting to not to mess with dude many more. This will have some retarded finish. And if Sheamus some how win his match versus Morrison. Then we will have a Triple Threat match for the title next month. WWE knows how to fuck shit up lol. I don't have my hopes up at all.

Prediction: The Miz- Retains


World Heavyweight Champion Kane vs. Edge vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio (Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match)

This had got be the worst fueds this year. Shit was hard to watch. You can tell Kane and Edge didn't even want to do it anymore lol. One of the reasons the WWE smartened up and added Mysterio and Del Rio to the match. Kane is obviously dropping the title because dude is just horrible as the champ. But to who will he drop it though? God knows I hate Edge and Mysterio? Maybe Del Rio? Could be, Del Rio has what it takes. But I'm not sure he needs the title this damn quick and at this time. If they put the title on son now, he'll lose it just as quick as he got it. WWE ain't letting him headline a PPV with the title this quick. So it would be a win and a lost at the sametime. He needs the belt at a later date so he can have a long meaningful title reign. And not look like Swagger. I said all this shit I'm still going for him to win though lol.

Prediction: Alberto Del Rio- New World Heavyweight Champion




God bless you if you actually paid for this PPV.....................

This Nigga Is TOO Real.....

Fueled by Agthekid / at 12:57:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Shoutout to my nig Tramaine for recording this shit. The funniest video I've seen in a minute. Basically the back story is black dude was in the store cursing out customers and the white dude made him get his crazy ass out. Then he went the fuck off from there. Best believe this took place in Duval. Off Beach BLVD to be exact. And if you from Duval and you know where Beach is, you will be weak at the fact this muthafucker riding all the way to the northside on a goddamn bike. So many quotables......

"Nigga I got 3 jobs. U po ass nigga."

"Shutco po ass up! I can't hear you white boy! You po"

"I got fye. And its registered. It ain't got no bullets in it."

"I betcho house lil"

"I fuck white hoes. Then I fuck black hoes. Then I dog them hoes."

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The Day I Almost Got Robbed (This That Aqua Flow...)

Fueled by Agthekid / at 1:40:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Once again @Chrisin2D has inspired me to tell another story lol.

This one might not be ask long as the other. I really need to write a book lmao. Well any way this was back in 2007 I'm not sure when the Aqua 8s dropped. But whenever it was it was then. Aqua 8s was hands down the coldest sneaker to drop that year in my opinion so I had to have them. My friend at the time name was...... I'm not even gonna name sons name lol. We just gonna call him "Android 1" just to make the story fun. I don't fuck with that nigga no more lol. Son came out the closet or some shit after we stopped being friends AYO smh. How you like men with all these bad black and spanish wimmenz out here? Alright let me not go on a tangent lol. Well Android 1 hit me up about this midnight release at Athlete's Foot. I had a connect at another store by me but the bitch tombout she had to go out of town that week. I should have checked her ass in the chin. But I was desperate for the 8s no Oh Snaps. So I told that future buttboy yes. I had never went to Athlete's Foot on Merrill Road but I was taking a chance. I was like the niggas on the Southside aint bout that life I'll be fine. So we go up there like 10:30 and not a soul is there. 11 pm rolls around and we are tired of sitting in this line. All of a sudden a box chevy with tint sitting on 26s pull up front of the store. We thought nothing of it. This nigga with dreads decked down in the finest Coogi walked up to us and said "Yo lil woudhi yall buyin nem 8s cuh." We just said yes. Then the nigga asked us was we paying cash for them. I was like O_o nigga why does that matter. My heart started beating fast as hell cuz we was the only ones out there. Then he asked me what size we wore. I almost shit myself. And I have a smart ass mouth so I replied "My size bruh". I'm an idiot. Dude proceed to walk to his car.

We knew we were about to get toe tagged for sure. All of a sudden a shit load of people walked up. If it wasn't for them we would have definitely got robbed. Its now 11:30 and we in line still. It was a dude in line kissing on this chick. I mean he was tonguing her down. I thought they was gonna smash in line the way they were going at it. Then I hear her say she buying the shoes for her husband. Then dude says "Yeah Mike will love them." I was like oh hell naw! Yall motherfuckas so triflin. You in the Jordan line tonguing your homies wife down. Cmon son. She bought that nigga sneakers when we got inside too. Alright now its midnight. We go inside and we think the close is clear we aint get robbed with all those people out there. I thought that made sense at the time. But niggas in Duval will rob you in broad day light in front of a police pep rally. We copp the sneaks Aquas looking :hat. So we about to got the door then we notice its like 60 niggas at the door. We both got the O_O face. And in the crowd we noticed dude with the dreads had a pistol mean mugging me. That was the scaredest (yes I made up a word) I've ever been. Even more scared then my shoulders clap story. I was like man I aint leaving. So I sat on the bench where you try on your sneaks. The cashier was ghetto and ruthless. She told us we had to leave we can't stay in here. I was like "Do you not see the nigga with gun?". She was like "boy you seeing thinks leave". SMH then she had the audacity to say I hope yall don't get robbed. What a bitch. So dude working with her proceeds to open the door. Once that door was open me and Android 1 ran like a motherfucka. Dude knocked a couple folks down. We aint give a shit cuh. I heard someone call my name I still was running lmao. Man I aint give a goddamn. My life was at stake. I think dudes got lost on the crowd that's why they aint get to us. I heard someone got robbed out there too. Probably was niggas at the end of the line. Thank you Based God it wasn't me lmao. Moral of the stroy is...... Shit there is none really. Just stay away from niggas that still rock Coogi though. And like all my other stories. I aint proof reading shit.

Drunk Tweets And Text

Fueled by Agthekid / at 11:24:00 AM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

First of all getcho dumbass outta here with that shit. Why do people think this shit is cute? Its not at all. Its showing everyone on twitter that you're an assclown that can't hold their liquor. Or just an asshole in general. No bitch don't text me at 3 am tombout to GONE! Guess what bitch I don't give a fuck. This goes for everyone. Get off my mothafucking phone with that stupidity. And then you got the nerve to hop on twitter with that fuck shit? Die bitch and eat worms. You all tombout "Idm at di5 pawty and Iz drwnk". Motherfucker why are you lying? Why when I ask you what you were drinking you say fucking Nuvo? Nuvo got your dumbass gone like that where you waking me the fuck up? Or got my eyes hurting tryna read your goddamn tweets? Save me the trouble goddamit. What kind of phone do your got anyway where its not auto correcting your shit? Your ass must have a fucking snake phone. Oh wait you have a blackberry like me. Well do you not see those fucking black lines under your incorrect ass word. *looks under your tweet* Oh you tweeting from the web? I thought you were at a party? Shutcho ass up failure. You not drunk you're just stupid. And you know I'm on that straight edge shit. I don't know smoke or drink. I don't fuck with you morally. LOL you can tell I'm getting at a certain person so I'll stop. Let's get on you pricks doing this in general. You're not cool at all Fonzi. Most of you fucks don't even leave the house tombout "I'm at this party wasted!!!!". Do you not boy. You in your grandma's living room while she watching Matlock hopping she goes to sleep so you can watch Girls Gone Willd informericals. You're not about that social life. And don't get me start on these nigga with these high text. Why one day this nigga called me 4 am acting foolish tombout "Amp bruh I'm gone off this kush". So I like, first of all I don't give a fuck. Second I know your bitchass aint hit no weed. This nigga got the nerve to say "Naw bruh I aint hit the weed, this is just a contact high". So you mean to tell me you called me 4 am tombout you gone off a contact high. Not even a regular high a motherfucking contact high. Boy why didn't I murder this fuck nigga? I just hung up in his face. I've been high before sir save me with your contact high experience. You must have come punk ass lungs to be catching contacts anyways. You must have gills you bass ass nigga. I'm gonna end my rant here. Just stop that dumb shit. You sit your house every weekend and leave once and act like a horses ass. That's why nobody is inviting yo ass anywhere. And to anyone that hits my line and I don't reply you know why. Talk to some that gives a shit. And to those that hit me on BBM with that drunk shit, your petty ass is getting the infamous "R" with no reply. I give those out almost everyday. Some of yall are already familiar. Now have a bless day and stay off twitter and out folks inboxing with that stupid shit. Also don't think I'm tombout all forms off drunk tweets. This is more towards those drunk tweets and text when fools are trying to damn hard to miss spell words knowing damn well they asses aint even buzzed yet. Stop it motherfucka. Ok bye! And also excuse my spelling and punctuation errors. I don't believe in proof reading lol.

The Chronicals Of Dalisto!

Fueled by Agthekid / at 9:38:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

As told by Pas

If you're from #NT you know who Dalisto. If not here's a quick breakdown. He's basically a 46 year old bamma from DC that gets a kick out being decked down in all Jordan Brand everything. His infamous look down pose he does while taking pics in little ass foyer will forever be a part on #NT history. He also rocks little ass dreads. And has an uncanny resemblance to his DC counter part Wale Folarin. But without anymore interruptions. I present to you "The Chronicals of Dalisto" As told by Pas.





Chapter 1: Saga of Dalitso


Around the age of 5 in 1968 young "Lits" as his father would call him became interested in clothing. Always purchasing the latest threads. Fast forward to 1990..young "Lits" had become "Dalitso". A young bamma infatuated with a famous basketball player named Michael Jordan. Everything was Jordan this..Jordan that..and being 115 lbs..the clothes..again..didn't quite look right on him always baggy. One day he decided to purchase a Polaroid and 1000 free hours of AOL dial up Internet.. He ran into a problem..there is no USB cord for Polaroids.. he said to himself "aw shucks dalitso!" Once again..in addition to his clothes not properly fitting..Dalitso faced a technological problem..


Chapter 2: The Pose

Now for some time being into Jordans and owning nearly every piece of Jordan apparel in a size XL and nothing smaller, Dalitso stumbled across a few sites as he was using his 1000 free hours of AOL.as he reached the 876th free hour; He knew it was 876..because he would always call an AOL rep and make sure to keep count. However as he reached the 876th Free hour he stumbled upon a site called ISS. Within seconds he quickly ex'd his screen after seeing way too many 15 yr old Filipino kids post pics of GR dunks.because Dalitso hated that Finally he stumbled upon #NT and while there he noticed a thread where thousands of homos freely posted their daily attire...each with a signature pose...and the use of a expensive camera..which meant bye bye to the usb(less) Polaroid. He said to himself "jeez Dalitso..i need a pose like the other fags" but what..we would he choose..he looked through hundreds of Jordan photos..finally stumbling upon one photo which had a glow to it it was a photo of Michael Jordan wearing a size 54 pair of Route 66 raw denim with a Custom blazer made from the purest of Buffalo fur. Dalitso said to himself " This is perfect..but I must find a way to hide my Paul Pierce like facial hair" Aside from his lack of knowledge with cameras..dalitso suffered from LineupPhobia..which is a fear of Andis t-liners.. Which in turn made him appear to be a grown ass catfish in JB Apparel..but he knew he had to find a way to hide this from the general public he would wear JB caps and put his head down while maintaining a somewhat androgynous pose.."GENIUS!" he said to himself.. but little did he know the problems that would arise from there..


Chapter 3: Coming soon.....

THE DAY I ALMOST GOT MY SHOULDERS CLAPPED

Fueled by Agthekid / at 12:06:00 PM / / 2 COMMENTS!!!

Shoutout to my nigs Chris and Russell for bringing this story up lmao x smh.

Alright the story I'm about to tell is crazy. Is about a situation that until this day I wish never happened. You can ask anybody that knows me personally, the story I'm about to tell is NOT of my character at all lol. But oh well I did the shit, I aint proud but I did the shit. Before I get into the story I will say this. I condone any sorts of bitchassness and punkbitchedness, but I displayed all forms of bitchassness and punkbitchedness in this situation. And whatever consequences I had to pay for my actions I deserved that shit. Ok that was the disclaimer, let's get to the damn story.

Aight let's go back in time. This situation took place my freshman year at Samuel W. Wolfson High School. I wanna say I was like 14 or some shit. Well anyway there was this dude named Kendrick. I wouldn't say he was tormented, but homie was the butt of every jokes. He was constantly talked about because he always wore that damn Paul Pierce jersey. And it wasn't a Nike swingman jersey it was one of them replica Champion joints. Folks stayed roasting dude but never really in his face. Dude was clearly crazy as fuck. I mean he was the only nigga in gym with his shirt off dunking and shit. I mean nigga we are 13/14, why are dunking? Homie had some loose screws but I was one his only friends. We wasn't best buddies (atleast I thought that, you'll see) but we were cool and what not. We use to talk about Madden and shit lmao. Shit we aint have no hoes on our dick so Madden is the only thing some young as niggas like us could talk about lol. Let me speed this story the hell up. Well one day a Senior came up to me and asked me why I hang out with Kendrick. Basically the senior was talking all kinds of shit about Kendrick. And I was a young as 9th grader trying to fit in. So I started selling out on Kendrick, not knowing at the time I was being a ho ass nigga x bitch ass coward nigga. We all got a little kick out talking about him and shit. [Side note: I remember one day Kendrick came to school with some "new" forces. It was in Ms. Arnolds class. Kendrick came up to us and sat down with his new sneakers. You know when niggas get new shoes they got put them out in the open so everybody can see them. Them nigga thought he was doing it. Until this nigga Tramaine ask him...... "Damn bruh, them shoes came dirty?". We was rolling for an hour. But this nigga Kendrick was red hot lmao. Good times.] Alright back to the story.

Ok after just completely selling out a friend on the bus, on my walk home I got to thinking. How about I write a comic book about Kendrick and pass it out around the school. Eh he'll never know about my bitchassness and deceit. So I started to go to work on the comic. I mean Stan Lee aint have shit on me. My illustration skills were on point, I though I was Big Meech in that bitch. Basically all the comic book consisted of was me drawing the niggas closet. I drew a Paul Pierce and Mike Vick jersey cuz that's all that nigga use to wear. Every monday he wore Red Vick jersey, red dickies, and red Chucks. SOOWOO all red everything! I would go into more detail on what was all in the comic book but this was 6 years ago and it would be hard to remember all that shit. Well anyway I was proud of my bitchass accomplishment. I even put could staples in it, that's how proud I was. I thought nothing could bring down my high. I was wrong as fuck cuh.

Alright the big day is among me, I was ultra prepared. I had the comic in my right hand ready to provide laughs, get kudos and continue to still not have any hoes. My objective for this was to pass the comic around to as many people as I can and not have Kendrick know. And I was doing great with it. I got it to a lot of folks without him even noticing. I mean he was even sitting next to a couple of folks while they laughed their ass off. That's how much balls I had, I aint give a fuck. So I wanna say a good 50 people say the comic. I wanted to put it to rest at that point and let it build through word of mouth. I told myself I was gonna put that shit away and not bring it out again. I should have listened to myself. This dude Travis (I'm not gonna say which one) asked me to look at the comic during lunch. I knew dude for a minute, so I trusted dude to watch over it. Bad move, I guess when was reading it he aint realize this nigga Kendrick was standing over him. Kendrick snatched the comic out Travis' hand and was about to whoop his ass, Travis yelled "Anthony made it! Anthony made it!" Mean while I was actually in the court yard chilling waiting for class. Next thing I know 2 dudes ran up to me saying "Bruh that nigga Kendrick said he was gonna kill you bruh. I would run." I'm trying be a tough guy and shit, my reply was "Man I don't care tell I said I'm out here". But in my head I'm thinking "this nigga is about to knock me the fuck out". Put it this way I'm not a soft dude, but this nigga was crazy and I probably would have lost I'm keeping it real. The bad part about this now is I got a crazy nigga saying he's gonna kill and we both had the same class next. RIP me

The bell rung. This might have been the longest I ever took to get to class. We had 5 minutes to get to class after the bell. Son I did all kinds of shit to kill time. I went to my locker not 1 not 2 but 3 times. I went to the bathroom and took the long way. And after all that I still had 3 minutes to get to class. When I say time stood still for my ass whooping, time said fuck you and stood in this bitch. So I said fuck it why delay the inevitable? I went into class and it was mad niggas surrounding the door. I wanna say it was like 30 fools. That had me even more shook. I put my book back down and was about to go the bathroom. All of a sudden this nigga Kendrick came outta no where. This scared the shit outta me. Nigga got in my face and yelled "Give me 5 reasons why I shouldn't kill you?". I thinking "OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!". I almost fainted in that bitch. He was about to clap my husky shoulders. I look to the door and everybody was going crazy. It was like the back drop on a stage on street fighter and shit. Then Kendrick started yelling "We was like brothers man!". I felt bad, but I still was thinking "Please don't beat my ass". All of a sudden 2 security guards broke it up. Keep in mind the 5 minute bell had never rung. That was like the longest 5 minutes of any bodies life. Time stands still when you're about to get your ass slammed in school.

Well anyway. We both got went the office. We had to talk to the 9th grade Dean Ms. Nix or whatever that bitch name was. She looked like the mom off Hangin' With Mr. Cooper. But while we in the office my heart was racing. I knew I took and L but I was glad to not have been beat to sleep. I was feeling bad about what I did. Ms. Nix basically was talking to us about what happened. This dude Kendrick started crying. I mean funeral crying. He started talking about how hard his life was and what not. I felt like a bitch for real and was speechless. I apologized several times but that nigga wasn't hearing that shit lol. Crazily we aint get no punishment or nothing. But them Wolfsons walls were talking, dumb rumors. Some fools were saying I got choked out. Some were saying I got body slammed. Some say I got stabbed. And some say I even got shot. Niggas was gossiping up a storm. Lol it was awkward as hell the next couple of days. Surprisingly no one tried me because I probably seemed like an easy target after the ho ness I displayed. I would have whooped they monkey ass though. It was funny going to most my friends afterwards because most of them asked me did I want him jumped. One of my homies Vincent thought out a fool set up on how to get dude jumped. But I told them all to fall back. Would I be bad if actually considered jumping him? :-/

Well I'm gonna end this long as story. Moral of it all is, don't write comic books about niggas. I feel bad about all this. I was a young wild niggas that aint know no better. I don't condone shit like this, now that I'm older. The sad part about this is its still a lot of fools out here now grown as hell doing shit like this. This situation made me hate gossiping ass fools until this day. Gossiping ass niggas stop it lol. Ok I done now and try not to laugh at my grammar. I typed this on my blackberry and I don't believe in proof reading.


No cliff notes either bitch...........

WHO'S THE BIGGER SIMP?: Steve Urkel vs. The-Dream

Fueled by Agthekid / at 3:24:00 PM / / 1 COMMENTS!!!

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WHEN REPPIN YO CITY GOES WRONG: Duval Ditty

Fueled by Agthekid / at 4:44:00 PM / / 2 COMMENTS!!!

SMH shoutout to my nig Chris for putting me onto this coonfoolery. This fake ass Cupid Shuffle has put a 5 year long L on the city of Jacksonville. This girl really shouted out Job Corp and Jones College like those are some legit schools to attend. I'm mad she had a dance team in the streets and shit like she was the 2005 Ciara and shit. Not my goodies face ass broad. But I'm not gonna talk shit about her too much. Duval is the biggest city in America but the shit is small if you get my drift. I'm not tryna get bodied at the Shell gas station over some shit I said on a blog. I'm just happy see didn't show my hood (Dunn Ave) in this video. Put I'm gonna give her props on the presentation its definitely HD lmao/smh. Let's not have this happen again okay? Thanks, Love Jacksonville, FL

I HAD A DREAM: The Patten Shoulder Clap Story

Fueled by Agthekid / at 11:49:00 AM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Dumbest dream ever though. Basically it was like an NT summit. I honestly can't remember who all was there at the summit. I just remember this nigga Patten was there. The setting was a Chinese spot I always go in Duval. For some reason the rapper Alley Boy was there mean mugging everybody in the damn room (I have no idea why Alley Boy was there, I think because I was listening to his mixtape in my headphones before I went to sleep). Well anyway everybody is in the spot laughing and what not, providing lulz what NT niggas do. Well anyway this fool Alley Boy told everybody to shut the fuck up. So everybody got quite as hell. Have you seen Alley Boy though? That nigga looks scary as shit lmaoooo! Well while everyone was on hush mouth I guess this fool Patten got brave and called Alley Boy a pussy nigga. This fool Alley Boy turned his head with the quickness and said "Who da fuck said dat cuh!" Everybody turned to Patten and pointed at him. So Alley Boy got up and said "Stand up den fuck bwoy!". So him and Patten started got face to face like they was about to throw hands. But you could see the scared look in Patten's eyes you can tell he knew he was about to get his shoulders clapped and his chest folded like a breifcase. All of a sudden the chinese dude that runs the place screamed "Get out my STORE! Get out my STORE!" This nigga Patten ran out with the quickest. He hit a 4 flat on some Usain Bolt shit. But everybody stayed for some reason, it seems like no one was scared anymore. Alley Boy sat back down and was finishing his chinese food. The room got calm again. Then outta nowhere Alley Boy yelled "Yall fuck nigga think I'm playin doh? Wen I phinish my pork fried rice I'm poppin my trunk wit my choppa and killin all yall fuck niggas. Yall shudda ran wit ya homeboy." Then he stood up and pointed at everyone even the chinese dude and said "ALL YALL FLAW BITCH MADE NIGGAZ BOUT TA GET TOE TAGGED". And Alley Boy proceeded to pull out a choppa and emptied the clip on NT. The dream ended there. I'm pretty sure everybody died except Patten. The nigga Alley Boy was on some Rambo shit and wasn't playing that day. The moral of the story is, if Alley Boy tells you to shut the fuck in Little Dragons Chinese Restaurant off the corner of 45th and Main St you shut the fuck up and eat your gotdamn food or else.


Kiss my ass if there was typos in that. I ain't proof reading shit cuh.

KING KONG AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME....

Fueled by Agthekid / at 9:55:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Aight I was basically trying to figure out how to use Sony Vegas 8. I pretty much mastered how to fuck with intros but I just needed to know how to edit and what now. This basically footage from homie Joe aka Mr. Jefferson's video blogs he did like this time last year entitled "Mr. Jefferson TV". And I pretty much got it going the first go around of editing. Excuse the quality of the video though it was shot with a digital camera then Sony Vegas tried to render it in HD and shit DID NOT end well. But hopefully when we get the R.A.O.F. TV videos and the Mr. Jefferson TV videos we'll actually have a decent camera.

JOIN THE “A DAY TO WORSHIP” EMAIL LIST TODAY!

Fueled by Agthekid / at 4:30:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Saw this on MrJeffersonMusic.com and decided to post it to help out. Leave them emails fools...

Heavy promo for the next project "A Day To Worship" will begin at the end of this month. So if you want to join the email list for Exclusive tracks snippets and news involving "A Day To Worship" leave your email in the comment box or just leave emails in an @reply on twitter. And remember "A Day To Worship" is dropping "very soon". And if you still haven't checked out Free Lunch 2 do that. This year will be a crazy year so stay tuned.

A LOOK BACK: The Truth

Fueled by Agthekid / at 3:35:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

February 28, 2000



Damn I can't believe its been 10 years since this ablum dropped. Not gonna say I'm getting old because I'm still fairly young. But time has definitely passed me by lol. I don't like to throw around the word classic but this album was definetly a classic. I still bump this album and I know alot of it by heart. Next to The B. Coming this my favorite Beans album. I think I heard my first Kanye produced track on this album. I could be wrong lol. Gonna keep it short, album is certified check out and what not. And if you just now hearig it after it being out 10 years step it up. Also looking at whats going on with Jiggaboo Knowles and Beanie now. The Beanie 10 years would definetly travel 10 years into the future and slap the current Beans in the face. All bad, all bad SMH.

Favorite track off the album....

YO, XXL I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!

Fueled by Agthekid / at 10:42:00 AM / / 15 COMMENTS!!!

Mhhh on paper when I first saw this list I thought to myself this might be the most complete XXL list they have ever put together. Well it his but thats not really saying that much. Then they started dropping theses freestyle videos and I said man these dudes had me fooled. Then I said man everybobdy is putting too much hype and thinking too much about these XXL list. Its sad folks need a 15 second "freestyle" for you to judge whether or not you gonna check for a dudes past music or continue to check on him in the future. With that said I'm done fucking with these Magazine list. And as my last task I'll give my short opinion on each dude XXL selected to do the mag this year. But I will admit. XXL was 7/10 this year with the rappers they chose. And remember what I'm about to say is all my OPINION. And unlike most I give all music a fair listen before I give any kind of critique on it to save myself from looking stupid. And with that said....


1. Pill



Pill makes some really good music. I honestly don't know to explain his music. He mixes Atlanta trap music with actual lyrical punchlines. With the right backing dude can be a problem in the future. I've seen a couple folks compared him to Ace Hood this week. Please kill yourself. Is it because he has dreads? Since when have we started basing musical skill off hair? Petty fools.







2. Wiz Khalifa



Um I've been called a sackrider/fanboy so I won't speak too much on it lol. Just know he's >>> Everybody else on this list.







3. Nipsey Hu$$le



I refuse to believe this ain't Snoops son. He reminds alot of Snoop. He just don't have a talented producer backing him. And he also came into the game in the wrong era lol. But homie should be fine. If the world don't ended in 2012. Music should be somewhat back. Not album sales wise but everything else.







4. Fashawn



Homie looks familiar. I'm pretty sure he was on the Secret Society mixtape 8o. I'm a fan of Fashawn homie music is excellent. He might stay strictly underground but there is nothing wrong with that. The industry sucks anyway. Shoutouts to him also for actually freestyling on this video lol.







5. J. Cole



J. Cole > Drake

That is all.








6. Big Sean



GO SEAN GO! GO SEAN GO! If she ain't got no rubbers, than it... NO SEAN NO!

Won't speak on Sean too much. He got Kanye's cocky/cool/asshole demeanor don't too a key and that might get him somewhere. I just need for him to stop with forced punchlines. Every line you say doesn't have to big clever and witty. But I'm happy he is finally using his Kanye co-sign. He was about to get that G.O.O.D. Music bum stamp from me word to GLC and Really Doe.







7. Freddie Gibbs



My nigga Gibbs. Probably the only dude on the list that I've talked to personally about his music direction. And I know were his head is at. Homie will change the game and bring Gangter rap back. I don't know when. But he will eventually. Next to Wiz I'm rooting for Gibbs the most out of any dude. DO NOT SLEEP.





8. OJ Da Juiceman



A lot of people where mad and said XXL lost their credibility on this pick. Pardon me I had to laugh at that. How a magazine that post 50 Cent and Em on every other month get credit is beyond me. Ok we get it OJ ain't lyrical at all. But homie has a bigger buzz than anybody on this list. XXL would have lost credibility not putting him on this list if it was based off what they said it is. And stop saying OJ was Drakes last minute replacement. How in the fuck do yall know all this then get shocked when you see OJ on the list #Sheep. As for OJs career it most likely will go the same as Gucci's career. These fools make "coon" music but you can deny their hustle. They know who to sell their music too and not everyone has to like. Remember this music is not based around you only so get off your high horses and STFU! Also Otis James freestyle was god awful. Don't know what he was thinking. I have real explanation for that.





9. Donnis



Donnis released very good mixtape last year. Let me take that back, he dropped a very good produced mixtape with a lot of co-signs on it. I'm also very shocked he made the list. I put a couple of my homies on his music but I just thought he was gonna be a fly by blog only rapper. I maybe still right about that because is lyrical ability is very limited and I think personally at the age he is he probably hit his peak. Unless he's on that Officer Ricky shit were he gets better with time. But I'm not sure where Donnis career will go. I will just sit back and watch. And hope the best for homie. Also please give Big Sean his flow back please.







10. Jay Rock



I'm not gonna say dude is trash but I'm feeling dude music at all. He obviously can rap anybody can see or hear at. But his music doesn't really change my attention. He's like someone picked the Game in NBA Live and took some of his Attributes down. Where do I see him in the future..... I have no idea lol.





XXL ALSO WHY IS THIS MAN NOT ON THIS LIST? (-______-)



Fuck it he doesn't have to make a "list" to make it as a rapper.

FORGOT ABOUT THIS.....

Fueled by Agthekid / at 7:10:00 PM / / 2 COMMENTS!!!

OLDER BLOG I DID LIKE WHEN I FIRST STARTED BLOGGING. I THOUGHT I'D POST IT AGAIN JUST FOR THR LULZ.

Martin......One of the best television shows ever.

My collection




This is a semi-dedication to the show sense I really need to take my ass to my room and study for this damn Psych test tommorow smdh. But I basically want to show my love and thankfulness(if that is even a word) to hands the best show I've seen in my GOTDAMN life lol. This show is love by everyone I've never in my life have seen someone that didn't enjoy this show no matter the race. And I'm glad I was raised in the best decade ever to witness this show first hand from beginning to end. I damn near cried on the last episode when he cut out the lights to the apartment and wrote "Martin wuz here" on the wall. It was just a lot of stuff on the show I could relate to for some reason from Ol' Otis to Dragon Fly Jones they were all classic characters. The show had some many damn quotables I ain't even gonna waist my damn time. And the Chillagins Island episode when Martin gave that Rat/Puppy thing a 25 piece combo was crazy as hell.

And I'm gonna go ahead and end this appreciation short I got shit to do lol. Like I said earlier I happy I was able to witness the shoe and there will never ever be a shoe like this ever again. Niggas are too greedy and everyone want to be a star. And as far as I'm considered Martin is funnier than Fresh Prince and The Cosby Show combined.....Quote me on it.

Martin- Was that nigga and still is. Who in didn't want to be cool like Martin and the Fresh Prince back in the day. I had the best sneakers and clothes and was that dude. And he had a down chick on his side it don't get no better than that.

Gina- I liked her a lot she was corny but thats what made her character better. And she was done for her dude my any means whether it was being knocked into a wall or living out in the damn streets it was whatever for her. Who doesn't want a girl like that.

Cole- He was dumb as hell but you can't complain about him enough said.

Tommy- For some reason I think Tommy was flipping bricks forreal no contruction. This dude stayed fresh as hell and was always in Martin's crib and would leave at random times to go to work. I swear this nigga went to work late at night one time lol. Either that or this nigga was an FBI agent. I don't....I don't know. And Tommy was some what of a punk but I'm not gonna event.

Pam- She had one of the biggest asses I've seen on t.v. at that time. If it wasn't for her character the show wouldn't have been half as good. Her and Martin going back and forth was classic. I wonder if her breath was really that damn stanklol. And them punchlines where crazy as hell.......
Pam Cassel
Weavie Wonder
Pamda Bear
Nick Pam Exel
Adomible SnowPam
Phone, Phony, Phoni
The list goes on

Here is SOME classic moments. If I was to post them we would be here for a while.

DEAR VIKINGS

Fueled by Agthekid / at 1:50:00 AM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Dear, Vikings

I've been a dedicated fan of your since like 1999. I still remember when Randy Moss, Culpepper, and Cris Carter was killing it back in the day :hat. Even more of your team than my own home team the Jacksonville Jaguars. Most may say I'm a traitor but I like who I like. What I'm basically saying is I want you guys to when tomorrow or someone be getting bodied. That's a promise. Favre should be able to deliver. And now that Percy Harvin is done acting like a B.A.N.(Bitch Ass Nigga) he can deliver also. Hopefully somebody drop kicked that fool. Who attempts to sit out the NFC Conference game tombout a migraine. *Maceo voice* Ho sitdown! But it should be all good. I hope talk any shit though. That never works out for me NEVER. So good luck to both teams and hope this ends well for the Vikes.

Sincerely, Anthony

RANDOM THOUGHTS vol. 1

Fueled by Agthekid / at 1:10:00 AM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

✈ Damn tomorrows game is gonna be crazy has hell can't wait.

✈ I haven't seen WWE Smackdown in like 4 months. I wonder why they cut it out in Duval. I need to see that shit again.

✈ Speaking of wrestling that nigga Undertaker needs to retire. He is ass now and laggy on the mic. He should have left like back in 2002.

✈ These R.A.O.F. shirts are dope as hell if I may say so myself. I'll wait to seriously push them.

✈ My brother Joe(Mr. Jefferson) can spit niggas need to stop sleeping.

✈ The Secret tape was dope as hell but it still didn't meet what I was originally tryin to do with the project. Oh well maybe next time

✈ I need to pull the trigger on these White/red 12s. Shits are still on the self.

✈ I tweet too damn much. But as long as my phone is charged and I got reception why not? Milk that Data plan ftw!

✈ I love my homies. I might have the coolest circle ever. Not one flaw nigga in it and everyone is humble. I wouldn't have it any other way.

✈ I think I said enough.

ALL FACEBOOK EVERYTHING!!!

Fueled by Agthekid / at 2:49:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

Alright yall fools are getting outta hand with the facebook foolery. From the fake ass models, media moguls, hustlers and sentence long middle names. The sentence long middle names is whats really killing me. Oh so your mom and pops named you "Keith SwerveLeftSwerveRight Jackson"? I think not. Was the name "Brittany AllTheseHoesInMyCityPettyFuckWithARealBitch Randolph" passed down from your great-great grandmother. Oh it wasn't? Call me Jay Electronica. Fuck the Call me Jay ElectthischoppasuitIworelastnightwasconfortableasshittronica as niggas. Best believe I got some screen caps and other fooler to express what I mean exactly.



Coonfoolery Submit by: trapmuzik617






Coonfoolery submitted by: Ms_April_Babay


Side Note: From what I was told this is a grown ass 40 year old woman SMMFH!


Coonfoolery sumbitted by: JORiDiOR










SMH I have the craving for watermelon now. Well anyway lets reflect on some of the names.

Jasmine Harajuku Barbie Montannah- HMMM I don't know what the hell a Harajuku Barbie is but I have feeling it has something to do with Nicki Minaj's corny ass. Thats a bad look already.


Khadijah Abarbiesheis- HMMM more barbie.


Heather Pocahontas' Barbie Gillia- HMM okay this is starting to become a trend and I get you're Barbies'. And not only Barbies but Pocahontas and Harjuku barbies. I'm only 20 but I feel older because I'm not sure what a baribie is anymore. I'll just check wikipedia to catch up on things I know the definition must have changed.

Bar⋅bie  /ˈbɑrbi/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [bahr-bee] Show IPA
Use barbie in a Sentence
See web results for barbie
See images of barbie

1. Trademark. a brand of doll representing a slim, shapely young woman, esp. one with blond hair, blue eyes, and fair skin.

*chuckles* I really don't have to point out whats wrong in this situation. Caring on.


This next piece of coonery is hilarious to me because it srongly based off of how boring college life can get. But with college life you have keep your conposer and find shit to do. And you can't let coonery overtake your young soul. But obviously they couldn't. They fools created the face book awards. What grown ass people do shit like that? Stuff like this would have been dope back in middle school maybe in high school. But in college? And why do I have a feeling these fools ain't even in college?


Coonfoolery submitted by: RAEthoven







You know I wasn't not going to post those music videos highlighted above....

Alright the video was decent as when it comes to "quality" stand point but don't can't rap at all and the hell is up with them glasses?

Now this video was dope and the song was too. I honestly don't have anything to say about it. I'll admit I was expecting the videos to be cooney as hell due where I found it but I was wrong very very wrong. Carrying on please.

I highlighted a couple these because I wanted to briefly go over them. Best model? I'm not going to shit or comment on the particular girls nominate because I don't know them and I've never seen their "modeling" pics or portfolio. But I will speak on all the fake ass models on facebook. Shit is outta hand. Yall fucked the model game up foreal. And I know real models that's been doing it and have professionals shoots and photographers and I can't even take they ass serious anymore. Stop taking pics in front of trampoline with the caption "Exotic" under it. Bitch I'm impressed at all. And that dude that's your manager with no other prior in managing models is just trying to smash. Be real with yourself. And that photo shop feature on tinypic.com really fucked the model game up. Hos taking pics with cell phone cameras in their dirty as bathroom mirrors and are making the background glossy to give off the exquisite effect and you failed. So stop that shit and shitcho gotdamn ass down with that bull SMH. If your cousin didn't work at Olen Mills and let you sneak in on slow Sundays your modeling career wouldn't exist. Best tattoo artist? And from what I heard one of the dudes nominated does 4 tats for $20 WTF? Thats why all these young fools walking around with these shitty ass poor designed tattoos. Son why does your Jesus tat have dotted eyes? Go have a seat and save up for some real tats. Niggas got that Wayne syndrome. Maybe if I get a shit load of horrible tats no one will notice and I'll be fine. I'll look tatted as hell and get props on facebook. Yeah you look like Wiz Khalifa from a distance but up close it look like a handicap kid was having a seizure while trying to draw a star on your arm. Reminds me of fools in my high school that use to skip school to go get tat from this white dude in some apartments across the street name Buck. Them coons use to rist their educations to get some the worst looking tat I've ever seen. Just horrible. I shouldn't have to put my eye damn near on your skin to tell you have a tat. Did the nigga use crayon dust instead of ink SMH? Mr. and Ms. Facebook? The hell is that? Mufuckas who sit on facebook all day. wh whw wh I'm confused fuck it. #1 Hustler? I bet these are the same coons that wake up early as hell and jump on facebook and make that dumbass "Up early grinding" status. Day after day after gotdamn day. Nigga just because you woke up at 9 am don't mean you grinding. You just woke up early. Nigga you woke up and fed your dog. I wake up at 2 pm sometimes and get shit accomplished than most coons that wake up at 5am. So chill with that shit. Hustling has no time. And these niggas bet not be no damn club promoters either. Because that ain't no gotdamn job. You just sit on facebook all day and invite a shit load of folks to horrible club parties. And stop sending me these damn invites to your corny ass parties. That will most likely have nothing but niggas and no girls in there. You can't shake these niggas either. Fools you not even friends with be inviting you and shit. I've sent plenty of messages and say stop sending me shit. But these coons are relentless. Fuck your parties and fuck your life and spend your money and time at least finding a talented DJ. Nigga just because you got a Macbook don't make you DJ. These iTune ass DJ SMH. And girls stop making facebook pages for your damn 1 year old kids. All these R. Kelly and Pleasure P ass niggas on the net. Hold down with that shit foreal. And stop taking these half ass naked pics then get angry when dudes come at you wrong. You have on a whores suit so act accordingly. And no is hating on you. You're just an asshole no one likes you thats all. It's not us it your ass. You fake ass poem writing ass niggas are getting outta hand also. You coons are making these shitty horrible poems think you're gonna get "hoes" and you failing to realize you get girl attention but not the right attention. You ain't gonna smash any of these girls you just look like a simp. You the same niggas that buy flowers for girls in the club and buy girls drinks. But keep it up your making it easier for assholes like me to get women. So congrats keep up the good work simp ass fool. Also facebook got girls crying over bum ass niggas in their statuses. Ending friendships with good friends over bump ass niggas in their statuses. Shit is getting outta hand. I know I like my fair share of drama like that shit that was going on, on twitter yesterday morning but its getting outta hand. Stop it 5 as some of my NT fam would say. I still don't know what that shit means yet lol. But I will end this rant like this. Facebook you are fucking the game up foreal. I keep deleting you but I keep getting folks wanting me to comeback. I don't know why but I comeback. But naw this shit is getting outta control. And I don't even think I cracked the surface the foolishness I've seen on facebook. Oh yeah.....



I rest my case.....

BISH YOUR FEET ARE NASTY!!!

Fueled by Agthekid / at 7:00:00 PM / / 0 COMMENTS!!!

HMMM!!! I'm a little late on the rant but oh well. If you don't know what the Ped Egg is quick tutorial....





First of all. What do you do with your life were you produce that much damn crust on your foot? Bitch you have for crust than Chuck R Cheeses on your foot. Nino Brown envies the crack your producing off your feet. And the fuck you mean you can take the Ped Egg anywhere? Nobody wants to see you flicking Domino's Pizza crust at Little Tommy's Bar Mitzvah. Take your dead skin out pack with the wolves. FUCK YOUR FEET!!! And you mean to tell me this shit cost 10 cash? 10 cash ain't nothing but for why? For why? What happened to using a butter knife no one is eating with and rubbing some lotion on your Lizard king ass feet? LMAO at don't use Potato peeling tools. Who needs warnings for stuff like that? Bic ravor commercial comes on "DON'T USE A LAWN MOWER TO CUT YOUR BEARD". Damn maybe if I stop using that lawn mower to cut my Rick Ross-esque beard that will stop the damn bleeding and heart attacks HMMM! And if you using the instrument you use to make your homemade Sweet Potato Pies SMH at you. That Ped Egg is nothing but a dull ass cheese grater you mozzarella foot ass. The asian ladies must have said fuck it started cussing fools out in english you stoop this low... On to the next one I say.



So Diabetics can't use the Ped egg? Does the foot crust have sugar in and they will be tempted to eat it? Yeah yuck but she ain't answer my question. Off topic LMAO at dude working with the lady and not even knowing her childs name fool ain't care lady had to get his attention for him to even say the baby was cute. But I'm gonna end rant here. Keep your disturbing feet away from me dammit. I don't want to see your crusty racoon skin feet. And no I won't hold the trash can lid for you while your concrete skin away.

I will not lookin at your feet skin
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not look at it with a mouse.
I will not look at it in a house.
I will not look at it here or there.
I will not look at it anywhere.
I will not lookin at your feet skin
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.


SO STOP IT NOW!!!!





And Cmon' Son you know this pic was coming.

OH HAI TIGER HAVE A SEAT PLEASE....

Fueled by Agthekid / at 2:23:00 AM / / 1 COMMENTS!!!

I WON'T EVEN EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOIN ON WITH TIGER IF YOU DON'T KNOW BY NOW YOUR LIFE SUCKS AND YOU LIVE UNDER THE BIGGEST ROCK EVER. WHAT TIGER DID IS BEYOND WRONG. BUT THIS TEXT MESSAGER IS EVEN WRONGER. IF WRONGER IS EVEN A WORD. EXCUSE TIGER WOODS HAVE A GOT DAMN SEAT PLEASE. WHILE I READ THIS TEXT.

Tiger: Hey Sexy I can't come out this week. Something came up family wise (July 20, 3:04 p.m.)

Jaimee: That's okay I hope everything is fine ... would have liked to see you

IS THE FACT YOU HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS THE REASON YOU CAN'T MAKE IT OUT? OR IS CUZ YOU HAVE TO MEET MR. MIYAGI AND JET LI FOR THE NEXT ASIAN SECRET SOCIETY MEETING?

Tiger: We will make it happen

Jaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday (July 26, 11: 22 p.m.)

I DON'T KNOW THIS BITCH BUT I KNOW BITCHES. SHE'S LYING. SHE JUST GOT DICKED DOWN BY THE ENTIRE WWE SMACKDOWN LOCKER ROOM.

Tiger: what kind of present your naked body

Jaimee: haha no a watch I slept alone

LSDFDFSDFLKDF NIGGA YOU'RE A CORNBALL. "YOUR NAKED BODY" STFU NIGGA.

Tiger: alone with him that is

Jaimee: haha I wish

Jaimee: miss u (Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.)

Tiger: now that's hot so who is your new boy toy

Jaimee: no new boy toy ... still running dry... been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months :(

BITCH YOU'RE LYING ONCE AGAIN FOR NO REASON. JUST TELL THAT FOOL YOU'RE A WHORE HE KNOWS IT. CUT THE MALARKEY. IS GON' LET MY NIGGA TIGER SMASH OR NOT THE OFFER IS STILL ON THE TABLE.

Tiger: I need you

Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u

LMMFAO AT "GET YOUR TIGHT ASS OVER HERE" NIGGA DON'T LET THAT HO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT. TEACH HER A LESSON.

Tiger: I will wear you out soon

Jaimee: how soon? I got a new piercing

Tiger: really. Where

Jaimee: I just sent u a pic of it ... is on my cheek below my eye ... implanted a little diamond

:-/ YOU GONNA WEAR HER OUT SON? ARE YOU GONNA WEAR HER LIKE A SNUGGIE OR A FUBU JERSEY? YOU GOT THAT TJ DETWEILER RECESS SWAG GOIN TALKIN TO THIS SLUT CONGRATS!

Tiger: send it again. I didn't pick up on that

Tiger: you just need some attention from me

YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS ATTENTION ALSO.

Tiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)

Jaimee: I don't even have someone I am dating ... no ... u can be my boyfriend ;)

DO YOU HAVE A WIFE NOSEY ASS NIGGA?

Tiger: then I am

Jaimee: I wish

Tiger: quiet and secretively we will always be together

Tiger: when was the last time you got laid

Jaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha (Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.)

OWNED! BITCH AIN'T EVEN ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. TIGER I'M GONNA SAY IT AGAIN TAKE CONTROL OF THE BITCH NOW!!! *BREAKS HUDDLE*

Tiger: oh god

Jaimee: take a break from watching boring old golf

LULZ WHORE SAID YOUR CAREER WAS BORING

Jaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf ;)

Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kidding

Tiger: I know sexy

YOU KNOW YOUR JOB IS BORING?

Jaimee: is it orange county time yet? (Oct. 1, 6:06 p.m.)

Tiger: oh stop :)

Jaimee: hahaha I know ... but you canceled on me last time so the anticipation is killing me ... im finding myself watching sports center ... haha j/k it isn't that bad

Tiger: its never been that bad

OH YES PLAYBWOI ITS THAT BAD!

Jaimee: very true ... I only watch football

YOU ONLY WATCH IT CUZ YOU'RE LOOKIN FOR YOUR NEXT VICTIM.

Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.

AYOOO THE FUCK NIGGA? YOU'RE GAY. HOW YOU NOTCIED THAT?

Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special

Tiger: why do I not believe that?

NIGGA I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T BLACK? AND THE FUCK YOU MEAN "I DON'T BELIEVE THAT" OF COURSE SHE FUCKED A NIGGA BEFORE. YOU THINK SHE LOOKED AT YOUR FRAIL ASS AND SAID "DAMN HE'S A REAL NIGGA I WANNA FUCK HIM". EITHER THAT OR SHE USING YOU AS A MEAL TICKET. *DING FUCKIN DING*

Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee's mention of a date who was "full of himself"] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.

Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourself

Jaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u ... the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn't and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazing

Tiger: you are wrong I'm bone thugs in harmon

Jaimee: Something wrong babe?I was excited to sepnd time with u this week (Oct. 15, 6:40 p.m.)

Tiger: I will you Sunda night. Its the only night in which I am totally free but I have to leave at 530 Monday morning to drive up to the valley for an outing for one of my sponsors. See you at 8 pm on Sunday in newport

Tiger: don't text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right now

I LAUGHED. CARRY ON TIGER! YOU SHOULDN'T BE TEXTING HER AT ALL. FO SHIZZLE!

Tiger: send me something very naughty (Oct. 18, 3:40 p.m.)

DSLSDFHHDFKJDJKF YOU'RE NAUGHTY!!! (c)CHRIS FARLEY. NIGGA YOU LAME. WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NAUGHTY AND VERY NAUGHTY? IS VERY NAUGHY HER SHOWING HER TITTIE IN THE CHICK FIL A LOBBY? AND I EVER WAS QUESTIONING YOUR RACE THAT CONFIRMED IT.

Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol ... besides im at work

SO YOUR TIT IN FRONT OF YA BOSS. THAT WOULD CLASSIFY AS VERY NAUGHTY.

Tiger: go to the bathroom and take it

SEE TOLD YA. AND NIGGA I THOUGHT A LOT OF FOLKS WERE AROUND LYING ASS NIGGA.

Jaimee: haha ur too much

Jaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport :( I am lonely now ... i like falling asleep in your arms (Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.)

Tiger: sorry baby I just can't sleep. Its just a problem I have.

Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning

Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn't sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more ... find out why I keep falling more and more for u ;)

Tiger: Because I'm blasian :)

BLASIAN? HMM NO COMMENT

Tiger: I'm sorry babe. Im already home.

Jaimee: I'm putting my underwear back on ... thats a no no ... come take them off

Tiger: :) you are too funny

Tiger: happy thanksgiving to you (Nov. 26, 11:16 a.m.)

Jaimee: u too love

WHAT HAPPENED TO BITCH SEND ME PICS NOW. TIGER YOU DESERVE TO LOSE YOUR GATORADE TO A DEHYDRATED STEEZ. NIGGA WHO SAYS NAUGHTY? I'M GONNA START SAYING THAT TO SEE HOW FAR IT GETS ME. MAYBE I CAN PULL SUSAN BOYLE :hat. TIGER I'VE NEVER PRAYED IN MY LIFE BUT I'LL PRAY FOR YOU. YOU GOT THAT AWKAWARD ONLY 6 FOOT TALL KID IN THE 4TH GRADE SWAG. STRAIGHTEN THAT SHIT UP TYGA! FO SHIZZLE!